Due Date | Personal Post

Today was supposed to be my due date.

(If you don't know what I'm talking about, you can go here for whenever I found out I was pregnant, and here for whenver I found out I had miscarried).

It's crazy how fast nine months can pass! I cant believe it's October, and I definitely can't believe it's October 21st.

I have a couple thoughts on everything:

-Even though I've been really sad today (more sad than I thought I'd be), it's amazing how close God is. Just in the past few days, I've had random people call me saying that God put me on their heart and they had to call me. They had NO idea that today was the day my baby was due. They had NO idea that I was sad. As well, I've had one person have a dream about Josh and I--we got out of our car to show her our two kids - a little boy and a little girl. That was so encouraging to me!

-Someone pointed out to me the other day that God is seemingly breathing 'hope' into this situation. Through dreams (such as above) and through Him just speaking to me and others, saying that I will bear again.

So I come out of this knowing very strongly, a few characteristics of God - God is near. He is the greatest comforter. He loves me deeply (and keeps trying to uplift my heart). God brings hope - the only hope I have is in Him. He holds my life in His hands (and the little life that was once in my belly, and now is in his hands in heaven).

I don't know where you are right now, but I do hope and pray, that you know all of the above things about God. Once you understand God on that level, the pain seems to dissipate a little because you can  trust Him and know He's in control. And things don't seem as chaotic as before.

Thank you for all who have prayed for me during this time. And thank you to all of you who have sympathized with me through your own experiences.

Until my next post (which I promise will be more fun and exciting),
-Ashley